


Wheat Kings and Pretty Things

by hotchsexual



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Corazon - Freeform, M/M, episode fic, season 6 episode 12
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-21
Updated: 2013-03-21
Packaged: 2017-12-05 23:52:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/729311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hotchsexual/pseuds/hotchsexual
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Let me just start off by saying that the title of this fic is the title of a song that's stuck in my head for days and to me, seemed to fit. Also this is my first 2000+ word fic so that's great YAHOOOO</p><p>This fic is inspired by the episode Corazon in season 6 which includes the little confrontation at the end with Spencer and Hotch, also the scene in the doctor's office.</p><p>Here is what other nonsense was floating around in my head. Enjoy. :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wheat Kings and Pretty Things

"What do you need protecting from?"

"I have no idea"

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, oh yeah, yeah i'm fine. I pretended to have a headache in order to distract him."

"Pretended?"

"Yeah, pretended"

He can't even look Aaron in the eye. He knew had to make it quick and get out of there before the pain became too much and he showed his boss just how much he was _pretending_.

He could see it in Aaron's face, the look of worry and hurt. They were usually a little more open than this with each other but it was a touchy subject for Spencer. Not one he could talk about just to anyone, even if it meant shutting Aaron out in the process. It's been two days and Spencer still hasn't heard anything from the doctor.

The littlest things are starting to agitate him, like when they're on the jet back to Quantico and Derek is tapping his fingers to the beat of his music. Each hit against the table is like another bomb going off in his head and the pressure in the cabin doesn't help. He gives Derek a look and gets up to make his way to the bathroom, locking the door behind him. Not two minutes later there's a soft knock and the muffled sound of Ashley's voice from the other side of the door.

"Reid are you okay?"

Spencer braces himself against the counter, his knuckles turning almost white from squeezing so hard. He clears his throat and gives the best possible answer, "Yeah, I'm fine. I'll be out in just a sec."

He splashes some cold water on his face hoping to lower his body temperature. There's sweat forming at his temples and his heart is racing and he really thinks this is it, that he might pass out from the pain and then he'll have no choice but to tell everyone the truth when he comes to. It takes a few moments but he has his breathing under control and he's wiping away the sweat before he opens the door.

Ashley's sitting at the table with Aaron closest to the bathroom (naturally, of course) and catches the attention from both of them as he stands there. Spencer's never done well when all eyes are on him. He gets nervous and starts to stutter, his hands get cold and sweaty and it's just not a fun experience. He remembers being in high school at the ripe age of 12, having to read his speech on Sir Isaac Newton to the whole class of seniors. No one but the teacher understood who or what he was talking about and halfway through his speech the cat-calls, the fake snoring, and the snide remarks suddenly became too much and he left. Ran to the only place where he was able to have some peace and quiet. The boys bathroom on the third floor.

He'd stumbled across ~~more like ran into~~ it one time when he was being chased by Jason Miller, one of the defencemen on the football team. It was his turn to be swirlied and there was no way Spencer could take another night smelling like a toilet and explaining to his mother why he needs to buy another bottle of detangler when she had just got him one last week.

This was one of those moments and Spencer wasn't ready to deal with it yet. He gives both Aaron and Ashley a small smile and makes his way back to his seat, feeling both sets of eyes heavy on his back. This was going to be a long plane ride.

\---------------------------

There's a message on the answering machine when Spencer gets home and the hairs on his neck and arms stand on end. He hits play and makes his way to the kitchen, hitting the button on the kettle.

"Hi Spencer, this is Amanda calling from Doctor Collins office. I'm just phoning to let you know that we've recieved your results and was wondering if you were available to come in Thursday morning at 9. If you're unable to make it please give us a call to reschedule at a later date. Thank you, and have a nice day."

He must have zoned out after that because the whistling from the kettle was what brought him back to reality. So many things were going through his head and he wasn't sure what was worse: not knowing why, or knowing and not being able to do anything about it. Spencer turns off the kettle and decides it's probably better to get some sleep. Thursday is going to come fast.

\---------------------------

Spencer listens, and he tries to understand but his brain hurts trying to think about it.

"It doesn't make any sense."

"I'm not sure what you want me to say."

"So there's nothing wrong?"

"Well, your scans are perfectly normal. There doesn't seem to be a physical explanation for your headaches."

"What do I do now?"

"Well have you considered..."

"Considered what?"

Spencer knows what he's thinking, can see it written all over the doctor's face and he isn't sure he wants to hear it.

"A psychosematic cause."

"Psychosematic?"

"It just means a mental or emotional stress-

"I know what psychosematic means Doctor, but it's not that."

"Well, I think it's something we should consider"

"Listen, I'm not crazy."

"Crazy? Doctor Reid I'm-"

"No, listen! I have headaches. I have headaches. I have intense headaches and sensitivity to light because there is something wrong with me. Physically, not mentally. It's not that."

Spencer's insides are vibrating and he can feel the anger creeping up the back of his neck. He just wants to get out of here and go to work, be in the only place that can keep his mind off things.

"That?" The Doctor asked, brows furrowing in confusion.

"Listen, Doctor, my mother's a paranoid schizophrenic who's been institutionalized so I know. I know very well what mental illness looks like, maybe even better than you and it's not that. It's not."

Spencer grabs his bag and leaves, putting on his sunglasses because damn the fluorescent lighting in this building. Damn these stupid headaches and damn the possibility that he may be going down the same road as his mother. And it's not that he doesn't love Diana dearly, but he sees her struggle with everything and damn if it doesn't break his heart every single time.

\------------------------------------

He's just about to sit down at his desk when Aaron calls him into his office. Slowly making his way up the steps he can feel the heavy stares coming from everyone. He turns and gives them all a reassuring smile before closing the door behind him.

"Have a seat" Aaron doesn't even look up from the file he's working on.

Spencer sits down and folds his hands in his lap, waiting for Aaron to continue.

"You wanna tell me what's been going on with you lately?"

The look on Spencer's face must have said something because Aaron's getting annoyed now.

"I don't want a sugar coated story. I want the truth, Spencer."

It was rare that Aaron ever called anyone on the team by their first name. It meant he was crossing the line between employee and boss, and coming off as a concerned friend or family member. Boyfriend in this case.

"Hotch it's really not-"

"The truth. Now."

"I've been getting headaches. Like really bad headaches. To the point where I've already seen a doctor and they say it's nothing physical."

Aaron's face softened slightly and he leaned over his desk, knowing quite well what Spencer wasn't outright telling him.

"Why didn't you say anything sooner?"

"Hotch I don't want to be treated like a baby. Every time the team finds out something is wrong with me, they automatically think I'm weak and unable to do my job. I'm fine to do my job, it's just a little harder some times because of the pain or the lighting. I've made appointments with other Doctor's so hopefully they can find something Dr. Collins didn't."

Aaron got up to walk around to the front of his desk and sat down on the edge facing Spencer. This 'thing' (for lack of better term) was new between them and if he was honest with himself, Spencer was scared. He's only ever had two actual relationships in his life and they didn't end well for either party. Oh, and that fling he had a few years back with Lila Archer. Letting someone into his life, into the personal dark places that no one really knew about scared him to death.

Aaron huffed out a breath and rubbed his hands on his thighs, a nervous gesture Spencer noticed he did only when he was really thinking of what to say and how to say it.

"We're worried about you. You're one of the greatest minds on this team and it would be a shame to have that jeopardized by something you're not telling us - me. Keeping secrets is one thing, but when it affects the rest of us just as much you, it needs to be said out loud. No one is going to treat you differently if you don't let them."

His boss. No. He has to keep reminding himself that this is real, that Aaron really wants him and wants to be part of his life, whether it's good or bad. His /boyfriend/ leans over and takes his hands in his own, looking Spencer dead in the eye.

"I haven't felt like this about anyone since Haley and you of all people should know that. Please believe me when I say I can't go another day without knowing how you really feel. The other night in Miami I knew there was more but I didn't press it because that would have made things worse."

Aaron squeezes his hand gently, eyes more sad then he's ever seen. "But if this is going to work between us Spencer you have to let me in. You have to let me help you any way that I can."

He's nodding his head, and he hears everything Aaron just said but it sounds muffled because the throbbing in his brain just getting to be too much. Spencer closes his eyes and leans his head back for a minute, hoping the pain will subside.

After a few long breathes Spencer speaks.

"They think it's psychological, I think it's something else. Or at least that's what I want to believe."

Spencer lifts his head and looks at Aaron.

"I know the signs and symptoms better than anyone. I can see it Hotch, it's going to happen."

"You don't know that."

"Oh but I do. And I see the way my mother struggles. I don't want to be like that and I certainly don't want that kind of burden placed on you. Or Jack for that matter. It's enough to have one dead parent, he doesn't need anything else on his plate."

He winces as soon as the words come out and he wishes he could just suck it all back up and tape his mouth closed. Way to stick your foot in it this time Spencer. He gets up and walks to the window, more to stretch his legs then to watch the cars passing by and then Aaron is right there behind him, arms snaking around his waist and pulling him close.

Aaron is firm and warm and Spencer leans into the embrace, relaxing just a little. It's comforting to know that he's always got his back covered with anything, but this was just something else entirely. This was something more then the team could understand right now and Spencer just wanted to keep it on the down low for as long as possible. If something more serious came up in the next results then he would take it upon himself to call a 'family meeting' of sorts.

"I just need time Aaron. I need to figure out what and how to tell them."

Aaron's voice is low beside his ear, "That's understandable. Take all the time you need, but don't leave us in the shadows. You're an important member of this team, of my life and Jack's, and I can't stress it enough."

He places a small kiss to the spot just below Spencer's ear and pulls him closer. He can feel Spencer shiver from the touch and this time he uses one of his hands to turn his boyfriend's face just slightly so he can kiss those beautiful pouty lips. It's quick and they both jump away from each other when they hear a knock at the door.

Spencer can see through the blinds that it's Garcia with their next case. He sighs and shoves his hands in his pocket, trying to cover up the urge to strip himself and Aaron and just go at it on his desk. This would have to wait until later when they double up for rooms at their next hotel.

Aaron opened the door to a very bright and colourful Garcia. "We're ready whenever you are, Sir." She smiled and gave Spencer a wink from the door before turning and heading to the conference room.

Spencer huffed out a little laugh and walked out with Aaron not too far behind him. He wonders what kind of surprises this case will bring.

FIN


End file.
